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A Bit of Dreamwork
And it starts to dawn in my sleeping mind that there is no need to bring the diaper to the doctor. The baby is well. And four dresses are okay, as are three. This shift is in line with work I am doing to understand a frightened, protective superego. Louise is my maternal grandmother’s middle name. This line of women needed things a certain way to feel safe and good. My mother passed that on.
My grandmother had good reason to worry about the baby. There were nine years between my mother’s older sister and my mother’s birth. Details are murky, but there were miscarriages. As a child, I heard the word “stillbirth.” Trauma chelating through the generations, hardening into a white-knuckle grip into how it needs to be to keep the baby alive.
On Being Interrupted
Let’s pull on this moment like taffy and see what might be hidden there. You are doing important stuff. Somebody may even be paying you to do important stuff. And your kid shouts out to you from the other room. You hear it, but you don’t respond. Cause important...
Healing Rage: An Outburst Leads to Understanding
A Rage Outburst at Work Amelia comes shame-faced to one of her twice-weekly sessions. We are in our fourth year. This is her second treatment of some length. She is a professional woman in her 40s, married, with two kids. She is back in therapy to leach out a gray...
Panic: Where does it come from? How do analysts work with it?
Panic on a Saturday Afternoon Eva is in her 40s. Married. Two kids, job she loves, smart, funny. We’ve been working a long time at twice a week. I won't say more to protect her privacy. She has given me permission to tell this piece of her story. For her...
When Anger Flashes Over Into Action
Name-calling, cursing, pushing, shoving, grabbing and worse. You can't believe it got that far, but it did, and you don't recognize yourself. Sounds like a rage attack. Anger plus panic til you reach a tipping point, and you are out of control. It feels like the other...
On Trusting and Not Trusting
Trust comes slow and sweaty like fog. Happy New Year The New Year begins and the lousy articles on psychotherapy appear. Like this one in the Wall Street Journal: http://www.wsj.com/articles/how-to-know-if-your-therapy-is-working-1483272009?tesla=y Don't Trust My...
Do I take insurance?
The insurance question is my most asked question. The short answer is "no, I don't take insurance." But bear with me because I'm going to explain the whole shebang to you right here, right now. I am an out-of-network provider. That means I am not in-network on any...
Anxious Parents Raising Calm Children: It CAN Be Done
The play space for toddlers at Washington Square Park is a slow, sweet spot. Babies learn to walk there and time stretches out like a summer afternoon. It’s also a good place to do impromptu baby watching. A truck backfires and the babies react. Some older toddlers...
Nine Signs You Are Building Up To A Rage Attack
Workaholism Work a full day after dental surgery because after all, the dentist said that you would be fine. Ignore all evidence (pain, wooziness, irritability) that you are not fine, because, well, neglect is how it goes. Work is way more important that you. Pay...
I’m Going – A Tribute to My Mother
The last time I saw my mother, I wore her favorite blouse, a brilliant orange and green splash of silk. I flew down to DC from New York on a Sunday morning. The previous Thursday, Mom had gotten up only briefly and had then gone back to bed. No rally against the...
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